Aircraft Registration Form

Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase:

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. _Mr. / _Mrs. / _Ms. / _Miss / _Lt. / _Gen. / _Comrade / _Classified / _Other

   First Name____________________ Initial(s)____
   Last Name_________________________ Awards/Medals__________________________

   Latitude________________________ Longitude__________________________________

   Altitude________________________ Password, Code Name, etc.__________________

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

   _F-14 Tomcat / _F-15 Eagle / _F-16 Falcon / _F-19A Stealth / _Classified

3. Date of purchase: Month___________ Day___________ Year____________

   Serial Number____________________

4. Please check where this product was purchased:

   _Received as Gift/Aid Package
   _Catalog Showroom
   _Sleazy Arms Broker
   _Mail Order
   _Discount Store
   _Government Surplus
   _Classified
   

5. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:

   _Heard loud noise, looked up
   _Store Display
   _Espionage
   _Recommended by friend/relative/ally
   _Political lobbying by Manufacturer
   _Was attacked by one
   

6. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:

   _Style/Appearance
   _Kickback/Bribe
   _Recommended by salesperson
   _Speed/Maneuverability
   _Comfort/Convenience
   _McDonnell Douglas Reputation
   _Advanced Weapons Systems
   _Price/Value
   _Back-Room Politics
   _Negative experience opposing one in combat
   

7. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

   _North America
   _Central/South America
   _Aircraft Carrier
   _Europe
   _Middle East
   _Africa
   _Asia/Far East
   _Misc. Third-World Countries
   _Classified
   

8. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase in the near future:

   Product:	Own	Intend to purchase
   Color TV: VCR: ICBM: Killer Satellite: CD Player: Air-to-Air Missiles: Space Shuttle: Home Computer: Nuclear Weapon: Army of Mercenaries:

9. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all that apply:

   _Communist/Socialist
   _Terrorist
   _Crazed (Islamic)
   _Crazed (Other)
   _Neutral
   _Democratic
   _Dictatorship
   _Corrupt (Latin American)
   _Corrupt (Other)
   _Primitive/Tribal
   

10. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?

    _Cash
    _Suitcases of Cocaine
    _Oil Revenues
    _Deficit Spending
    _Personal Check
    _Credit Card
    _Ransom Money
    _Traveler's Check
    _Didn't pay, just pointed the odd ICBM in our direction
    

11. Please give the occupations of yourself and your spouse:

    Occupation:	You	Your Spouse
    Homemaker Sales/Marketing Revolutionary Clerical Mercenary Tyrant Middle Management Eccentric Billionaire Defense Minister/General Retired Student Unemployed

12. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:

    Activity/Interest:	You	Your Spouse
    Golf Boating/Sailing Sabotage Running/Jogging Propaganda/Disinformation Destabilizing/Overthrow Invasion of smaller neighbour Default on Loans Gardening Crafts Black Market/Smuggling Collectibles/Collections Watching Sports on TV Wines Interrogation/Torture Household Pets Crushing Rebellions Espionage/Reconnaissance Fashion Clothing Border Disputes Mutually Assured Destruction

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: