The Wisdom Of Age

Now that I'm 40, here is some of the wisdom I have accumulated over the years:

* I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
* My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
* I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.
* It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
* Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
* Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
* Million to one shots come up nine times out of ten.
* Some days you're the dog; some days you're the lamp post.
* I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...
* Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
* Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
* Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
* It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
* The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bath.
* If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
* When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
* Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
* These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after.
* Funny, I don't remember being . . . . . absent minded...


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