One Liners
These one liners are so bad they were rejected by a christmas cracker company.
But here at elmour.com we never put a healthy joke down...
Why don't blind people skydive?
It scares the sh*t out of the guide dog!
There was a sausage and an egg in a frying pan, the egg said, "Gosh it's hot in here!". The sausage turned around in horror and said,
"Eeeeek! A talking egg!"
How many B&Q assistants does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But only if you've got a receipt.
Why people get married is a mystery to me.
Why people get married twice is a bigamystery..
What's the definition of a "Yankee"?
Same thing as a "quickie", only you do it yourself.
A boat carrying red paint crashed into a boat carrying blue paint and the crew were marooned....
Who invented fractions?
Henry the Eighth.
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose and a banana in his ear, "What's the matter with me, Doctor?"
The doctor says, "I think you're not eating properly..."
What's Jack short for?
Because he's only four.
What happened when Caesar went to Mount Olive?
He got beat up by Popeye!
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